Fay…Gay…& On-The-Way

May this Journey be of Justice, may it be a Journey of Prophet in my hands!
Holy Christ against demons, against weapons, against killings!

May Perfect Love, Beloved, and Love-Ever-Dancing sanctify us!
May the Mysterious One hidden in Darkness and the Bright Glorious One save us!

May the cross of Christ’s body and the Fruit of Mary guard us on the road!
May it not be unlucky for us, may it flourish and be clement!
Devotional Texts, Celtic Spirituality: Classics of Western Spirituality

 

I’m one of those people not terribly fond of most striaght-folk. I’m sorry but it’s just fact. If this was true in the US; it’s multiplied to the nth power here, 9 Degrees North.

No one ever writes about us, we more-bisexual-than-anything/kinky/liberal kind of folks who tried with every ounce of her being to be Lesbian. Lord knows, I tried! I mean a bisexual cat adopted me! I’m a priest in a “gay church;” our god-child, sadly, is straight–he was born that way–we are failures in parenting and god-parenting. I’m a failed Lesbian; I am who and how God-As-Metaphor made me. I also realise that our generation puts a lot of emphasis on the “compartments”–that “these kids today” are growing up with more-fluid gender stuff. Unless they’re growing up scary and fundie–and if that’s not a dualistic compartment…Well!

And so, my story.

I came to the Inclusive Celtic Episcopal Church via ECUSA, via a search into Judaism and Roman Catholicism. I was deeply drawn to Hinduism, but I was raised in MS. And if I needed community in which to grow; I knew no Hindus; being an Episco in those days, in that place of Kosciusko was “weird” enough! And as an ICE-C (why do I always imagine myself with a slurpy and straw in a tall frosty silver or pewter cup?) I get to look at my Celtic DNA connection with the Hindus in every way possible that I can.

I left Trinity when RWC retired and came to a small SUBurban parish of San Francisco, a place both edgy and totally not. I entered one of those heinous Ordination Processes that found me vomiting before and after every meeting. Sure, I needed to be challenged; but I didn’t need to be terrorised. Have you ever known anyone who entered every committee meeting wired? You have now. One wears a wire NOT to record what others are saying; but to keep one’s self from going off.

I began to look around. UCC’s? UU’s? American Baptists? All were welcoming and offering to ordain me. I was a liturgy junkie; and I didn’t want to learn to preach for two hours. Was I to ever be stuck in an Episco pew, knowing my Call was genuine, and yet not welcomed? Or worse, that I’d stayed Episco, been ordained, and found myself so sickened by a Process that I could no longer look in the mirror and put in my (grey) mascara? What would I do? All I really knew about how and what I was supposed to be was ordained Anglican; I’d been struggling with this Call for nearly twenty years; and I seemed as stuck as I had back in the 80’s when I watched Mother Catherine set the Table one day at the cathedral in Yewsten TX, when That Something spoke to me, “You’re to be a priest!” That Something laughed louder than I, sitting sleep-deprived in that pew. And the call wouldn’t go away.

And God/dess knows I tried, long and hard, to make that bloomin’ Call go away.

One day in the middle of the after-school mentoring/tutoring program at that SUBurban parish, I had to go upstairs into the Nave (although the parish has no actual “nave” space, technically, but we were Episcos, and God knows, we couldn’t call it anything but a really churchy name) to locate some paper work. Not the most organised parish in the world, I ran, knowing it would take a while to sort through the piles of papers to find the goal of my search. As I walked back down the steps, I almost tripped. There, in my hand, was a flyer of information from a parish called St. Savior’s.

It sounded Anglican enough.

Except there was a mention of Liberation Theology. Not two words one often sees in Episcopal-dom. What in heaven’s name?

My heart raced, stopped. It wasn’t the run that had left me gasping. I stuffed the flyer in my bra and joined the youth.

On the way home that evening the flyer kept scratching at my skin; the sound enough was enough to run me nuts. I stopped for an iced white mocha at the closest evil Starbucks and read this flyer while I sipped. Yes, there was a physical address for this place; there was a phone attached; there was even email. I thought I’d test all three, starting with the email as soon as my caffeinated being could get home.

The email did not return–an auspicious sign. I thought I’d try the phone, too, since I was on a roll. Lo! It was a live number! There was a machine. Aha! No one would ever return my call. I was safe.

Someone did return my call. The bishop! Of all people! This could simply not be. He called; we talked. He responded to my email. We met. We talked some more.

We’ve not stopped talking yet! I’d not only found a bishop; I’d made a friend. It just doesn’t get much better than this!

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Since this blog exists for Celtic Advent 07 only, and since our bishop is collecting our thoughts/prayers/images/etc. on Call, I’m including a (rather long) reflection I made on “Call” several years ago. (It’s my favorite piece of religious art outside of Ireland.)

….God/dess forbid I ever have an unwritten thought…

 

My gifts to the Church can be expressed in the words of three of her theologians: Tertullian; Hovda; Weston.

Tertullian speaks of a theology of the body, our incarnation in the flesh (the soft parts, ancient Hebrew), Chapter 8, “On the Resurrection of the Flesh.”

The flesh is the hinge on which salvation depends (Caro cardo salutis). When the soul is dedicated to God, it is the flesh which actually makes it capable of such dedication. For surely the flesh is washed that the soul may be cleansed. The flesh is anointed that the soul may be consecrated. The flesh is sealed that the soul may be fortified. The flesh is overshadowed by the imposition of hands that the soul may be illumined by the Spirit. The flesh feds on the body and blood of Christ that the soul may fatten on God..

The Call To Ordination Does Not Go Away

A fierce and passionate love relationship with the Triune God.

The Call To Ordination Does Not Go Away

The Gospel of Jesus (Good News of love, free forgiveness, and grace of forgiveness) is central to my life as one baptised. And the Eucharist is central to my life as a liturgical Christian. I believe my calling is to preach the gospel/proclaim the Word and to preside at the Eucharist, as well as to baptise and to teach, hear confessions, proclaim absolution, pastoral care.

The Call To Ordination Does Not Go Away

My prayer life is very important and I have much experience in “ways to pray”–meditation, contemplative prayer, prayer beads, movement as prayer, etc. I belonged to the parish out of which came the Anglican rosary.

The Call To Ordination Does Not Go Away

Years of spiritual direction–as director and directee
The Call To Ordination Does Not Go Away

A fine theological education–education that is ongoing. I plan to get a PHD in religion and the arts–Sheela_na_gigs: Finding The Holy In The Grotesque. Other education dreams: PSR’s Religion and Sexuality–Center for Gay and Lesbian Studies; University of Creation Spirituality

The Call To Ordination Does Not Go Away

A willingness to serve and be served by community…in the Body of Christ

The Call To Ordination Does Not Go Away

Strong sense of community: liturgy is corporate action of those assembled. The parish church symbolizes the entire, universal, and catholic church.

The Call To Ordination Does Not Go Away

A strong awareness of the gifts, tasks, challenges of lay and ordained; that we are all laity and are all priests by the very nature of our Baptism.
*To make the “priesthood of all believers” a reality is the work of an ordained priest.
*Priests are mediators

The Call To Ordination Does Not Go Away

One is ordained as shepherd and to “liturgical oversight.” Cranmer said ordained priests are “stewards of the Mysteries [of the sacraments]” if we define steward as “one who oversees specific obligations and duties for the sake of others.” An ordained priest is responsible for the Word and Sacrament on behalf of the entire Church–symbol bearers as sacramental in the world. The specific roles of ordained priests in the Anglican communion have been defined through the ages as one who is called to bear the sacramental bedrock of the Church–Baptism and Eucharist–as signs identifying the blueprint of the Church; to proclaim the Word; and to teach Our baptism brings all of us into common (the community) faith and service; the Eucharist nourishes and sustains the community, as the Word reminds those gathered of the love of God and the life of Jesus, the Christ.

The Call To Ordination Does Not Go Away

Respect for authority as defined by our Church–tradition, reason,and discernment of voice versus mindlessly following orders; obedience is more about a choice to remain open and flexible.

The Call To Ordination Does Not Go Away

Good liturgical celebration
takes us by the hair of our heads and
puts us in Sovereign scene,where we are treated
like we’ve never been treated before
because this is clearly and intentionally
God’s domain, God’s reign
where we are bowed to
and incensed
and sprinkled
and kissed
and touched
and fed
with bread and a cup
that are equally shared among all.
–ROBERT HOVDA sensualises LITURGY INTO WORDS

The Call To Ordination Does Not Go Away

Good liturgist. I’ve written liturgies, P’sOTP, and Eucharistic Prayers. I’ve taken the Liturgics Practicum twice (once for credit) and received good, positive feedback on my liturgical style. I am passionate that priests keep liturgically up-to-date. I’ve taught classes on symbol and meaning of the Eucharist–including the history of vestments, the history of the liturgy, and the history of the Anglican/Episcopal liturgy. I’ve made vestments, stoles, bread.
*Experience as chalice bearer, acolyte, lay minister, lay reader, etc.
*Baptism is the fundamental sacrament that connects all of us to X in radical, scandalous unity.
*Sensual liturgist–Very much aware of the need to “maximise” our symbols.
*Strong knowledge of the Prayerbook (including a class on Pastoral Care and the BCP.)
*Liturgy is social justice.
*Spanish liturgy class.
*Altar guild
*A belief that liturgy is a dialogue; Table manners are very important.
*Liturgy is a drama; not a performance.
*Church as “people called together in the name of God.” (Louis Weil)
*Presider HE–reserved Sacrament.
*Said words of institution, fractionated, and gave bread to the People–my hands surrounded by hands of a priest & my words in duo with priest
*A strong background of education in Latin American sacraments and their meaning to the People; an awareness and deep respect for Hispano/a popular piety.
*Acted as deacon for 2+ years at TrinitySF.
*Thurible training X2; served as thurifer.
*Acolyte trainings–classes and rehearsals
*6 liturgy classes–Anglican Orders, Rites of Death and Dying, Ritual, and Hispanic sacraments,
*Read coursework for Liturgy and Architecture– and Liturgical Aesthetics.
*Culturally sensitive, yet have the courage to be open about invalid liturgy.
*Know my voice limitations in singing and chanting
*In Panama without a “gathered” community, without a library, without an intellectual community, our personal library, the Internet, helping Kenny write-read-preach-teach-plan has been the core of my ongoing study.

The Call To Ordination Does Not Go Away

Good preacher. I preach by story, poetry, and drama.
*Have a collection of sermons considered for publication.
*Senior sermon–Absalom Jones via Alice Walker and MLK.
*Proclaiming the Word is an honour and privilege.
*4 preaching classes–including acting techniques for preaching
*Powerful prophetic voice.
*Preaching is not a lecture nor is it moralising; neither is preaching “cocktail party conversation”
*Preaching is an art
The Call To Ordination Does Not Go Away

Gift of healing and reconciliation
The Call To Ordination Does Not Go Away

Love of Creation; advocate for environment; see all of Creation as equal (Yvonne Gebara)

The Call To Ordination Does Not Go Away

Person of faith, love, hope, integrity

I’ve a lot of faith and a whole lotta love; my confessor says my hopelessness is the sin of Pride; I’m working hard on Hope these days.

I’m a priest by my weaknesses as well as my strengths–God uses all of us–individually and corporately.

The Call To Ordination Does Not Go Away

Awareness of the Shadow of ordination

The Call To Ordination Does Not Go Away

Good teacher. I rarely teach by “banking” (Paulo Friere), but act more as facilitator. Well-versed in teaching style of Liberation Theology. Much teaching experience as nurse and as seminarian.
*Catechesis is key, necessary, and important. Cathechesis is the responsibility of lay and ordained.
*Facilitator training From Violence To Wholeness, Pace e Bene’s Theology of Liberating Nonviolence. Initiated connection with Episcopal Church and DIOCA and URI in 99. Co-facilitator for NationalEPF Training, which led to FVTW adoption by ECUSA.

The Call To Ordination Does Not Go Away

Preferential option for the poor. I grew up poor, in a poor state; I know what hunger feels like; I know how social agencies work from both sides of a desk: I know the Church from the best of pastoral care to the “poor family that needs a food basket.” Being in Panama has only nourished this belief; work with the ostracized Ngobe and Ngobe-Bugle has been eye, soul, and heart-opening. Working with UNAIDS and Panama’s only GLBT organization AHMNP has become my key focus. Being a part of the team that works with the Ngobe to form their own version of AHMNP (Association of the New Men and Women of Panama) has been as humbling as it is exciting.

The Call To Ordination Does Not Go Away

I do not agree that the Episcopal Church is and always will be the “church of the middle class.” I believe there is an important ministry in the lives of the poor and oppressed, within their midst, as community. Having lived and slept with an Episcopal priest these past two years, I believe this more and more, especially as I see the wild struggles of ECUSA within and without Whatever-Anglicanism-Is- Going- To-Become. If it does not become, it will die. I think they’re resuscitating the dead, not resurrecting the dead; but right now I’m tired and unusually cynical; we’ve been without power and water most of the day and the internet service has been S-L-O-W.

The Call To Ordination Does Not Go Away

Today I’m a priest in the Inclusive Celtic Episcopal Church because of its radical inclusion. I’d never have survived in Panama without the support of this C/church.

The Call To Ordination Does Not Go Away

Love and respect for children. Love children’s, youth, and family ministry. Love working with youth as minister, teacher and companion. Believe children belong at the Table. Inviting ALL to come to Table. Good with children; good children’s minister. (That all-girl youth group I put out of the car for littering with plastic might disagree; Yes, I put out of the car our gaggle of girls and we all picked up garbage on the roadside; we drove it to Almirante and water-taxi’d it to the Island’s recycle center; Yes, I made those girls recyle, too. )
*Godly Play facilitator
*FVTW to adolescent group
To have been a part of the community in Panama that is raising up two new Episcopal priests has been wonderful. To have been part of the community that strives to grow up ordained women leaders has been as wonderful as it has been maddening. There’s a long way to go with women here, in so many ways.

I’ve planted a few seeds that we, ICE-C, call and ordain.

The Call To Ordination Does Not Go Away

Strong interfaith connections and experience.

The Call To Ordination Does Not Go Away

Planned and preached my father’s funeral and graveside service–an Episcopal service in a Baptist church.

The Call To Ordination Does Not Go Away

Helped to plan and I prepared, prayed my mother’s funeral sermon. I dug her grave for her cremains, blessed the grave. And Kenny was right there beside me as were St. Savior, RosaLee, and Holy Innocents.

The Call To Ordination Does Not Go Away

Presider at same sex unions, marriages, hand-fastings. Liturgies and marriages written by myself and in conjunction with couples. The most fun celebration? A double wedding of four of my favorite pagan women; it was rockin’ awesome!

The Call To Ordination Does Not Go Away

Longtime activist and advocate for those oppressed and marginalized.
*Long history of work with GLBTQQ, PWA’s–men, women, and children

The Call To Ordination Does Not Go Away

Fearless, Courageous, Integrity. Creative, Imaginative, Prophetic, Sense of humor, Persistent, Powerful, awareness of my own authority.

The Call To Ordination Does Not Go Away

I welcome change, yet understand many in the Church (and the world) do not.

The Call To Ordination Does Not Go Away

 

 

Attended many, many meetings of church administrators and officials.
*Vestry–St Aidan’s; deanery meetings; administrative meetings at Trinity
* RWC and Trinity taught me how to prepare for a Vestry meeting, never longer than an hour and a half…NEVER.
The Call To Ordination Does Not Go Away
I know the specific roles of a priest in the episcopal tradition. I strongly believe in an empowered laity. I know my gifts and my places that need work. If we as pastors, preachers, and ministers continue to “hold on” to “all the tasks” in a church office, the work of those called to ordained priesthood will not and does not get done. If the ordained do not let go, then the laity do not get to use their gifts for the Church and the Church in the world.

The Call To Ordination Does Not Go Away

I am not the most organized person in the world, but I MUST have organization in which to work. I am flexible and yet, I realise many people in the church are resistant to change (many reasons) and many need much structure. I respect this. I also know that I, an INFP, live in a world that is not INFP.

The Call To Ordination Does Not Go Away

Discernment of calling since 1986–self discernment in conjunction with therapy, spiritual directors, ministers. Called by parishioners (and bishop) of St. Savior, San Francisco, as their deacon and priest, especially to work with GLBT folk and the Ngobe in Panama. Numerous validations of calling.

The Call To Ordination Does Not Go Away

Lilly Intern Year, Trinity SF
*Full time parish experience: 60 to 100 plus hours a week.
*Lilly year is not unlike a “mini-curacy.”
*Good parish experience; exposure to all aspects of an ordained priest’s life.
*Involved in Capital Fund Campaign
*Involved in church growth process and in writing Trinity’s Mission Statement
*Preached
*Deacon–read Gospel, prepared Table, dismissed people
*Spent time in the community of parish and neighborhood
*pastoral care
*heard confessions
*welcomed newcomers
*planned liturgies
*supervision by RWC–GREAT! RWC showed me how to be direct, honest, and forthright–to be able to identify feelings and to speak my feelings using the “Cromey 5”: MAD/GLAD/SAD/SEXY/FEARFUL

The Call To Ordination Does Not Go Away

Field Education Year, Trinity SF (plus Lilly year).

The Call To Ordination Does Not Go Away

I am grateful and thankful; I honor hospitality, the very bedrock of social justice.

The Call To Ordination Does Not Go Away

Good pastoral care skills, probably my greatest strength
*Knowledge of Jung and Jungian concepts
*Years of dream work and have facilitated a dream class. 3 semesters of dream classes
*Trained HIV and sex educator; am comfortable talking and listening to conversation, discussion about sex and sexuality. I see sexuality as “God/Divine energy”–both originating from the place of deep Creation. I have served on a diocesan Sex and Sexuality Committee, have preached on sexuality, and have facilitated classes on sex and sexuality. Not sexually judgmental; I’ve been the spiritual director for a number of people with “different” expressions of sexuality (I’ve worked with a number of folks from the BDSM community in the Bay Area, MS, and TX)
*Not afraid of death. Familiar with hospitals and am comfortable visiting sick people. As a working ICEC priest, I’d like to do a CPE year in a hospice, then find a job as a hospice chaplain. I actually like death; Death has been very good to me…and us.

The Call To Ordination Does Not Go Away

A passion for the truth; profound spiritual depth; curiosity and a sense of perspective and irony; great skill working with children and planning for their inclusion in the community; love working with elderly folk–respect their need for a place of ministry; advocate for those disabled; a strong sense of the church’s need to move out of the parish walls and bring about real change in the world; a fine capacity to cope with multiple crises and bring/hold all the pieces together; gifted writer and preacher.

The Call To Ordination Does Not Go Away

Years spent with RC and Episco priests, hearing their “confessions,” their talk about seminary and The Church. I come to ask for Holy Orders with a sense of the imperfection of the Church. I come to ask for Holy Orders knowing how lonely and hard a life ordained ministry can be.

The Call To Ordination Does Not Go Away

Awareness of the greed for power, the jealousy, the internal politics in the C/church; have had great mentors in this area.

The Call To Ordination Does Not Go Away

My discernment is that priesthood is my life’s work–it is right as vocation; I am willing to go where God leads in the Church. I came to seminary because I was no longer afraid to do so–the pain of NOT learning, of NOT being surrounded by Church was so much greater than any fear I ever had of failing or succeeding. My call keeps coming back as well as it continues to make its way through many channels and openings of the Spirit

The Call To Ordination Does Not Go Away

Inclusivity is key–language, people, action, symbol.

The Call To Ordination Does Not Go Away

Nursing gifts: healing, education, self-care, teamwork, awareness of systems theory
*psyche, children’s psyche, hospice, occupational health, neonatal, maternal infant, PWA’s, doula, hemophiliacs, pedi, State Board of Health, worked with parish nurse program.

The Call To Ordination Does Not Go Away

Discernment as English major=>appreciation for language and beauty and power of words.

The Call To Ordination Does Not Go Away

The Church is safe place that recognizes a loving God often takes one into dangerous places…

angels fear to tread…

The Call To Ordination Does Not Go Away

Vision for Church in 21st Century
*priest as …leader who develops leaders/guide/mentor/coach/preacher/teacher/strategists
*more than chaplain of geographical parish
*Church needs to be more decentralized
*Church to be motivated by love and the Great Commission
*a priest has experience of passionate spirituality and able to share that passion and to encourage passion in others
*the 21st century Church needs inspiring worship
*the 21st century Church needs priests unafraid to challenge
*I believe ministers/priests/pastors need to work with all parishioners to develop small groups as “holistic support”–no one in congregation will go her/his Xanity alone–each person will be surrounded, prayed for, and encouraged by at least ten people–these groups will be affinity groups or like affinity groups–almost house churches that gather in Church space for common prayer and Table fellowship. These groups will join together in social justice work
*Vestries will see their task as giving power to all–members and nonmembers– to do the work of building up the Kindom, thereby bringing the ROG to the “now.”
*The Church will be and is called to be a 7 day a week church, open, on the streets, and out in the community

The Call To Ordination Does Not Go Away

*A priest is called to foster the worship of the church and the Church’s sacraments that remind us to look deeper into our souls and to expect God in our midst.
*A priest reminds us from ambo and Table–that all human life is priestly
*As I priest I feel called to a greater, more permanent attachment to a parish; I see priesthood as more than career where one strives to advance to a “better” job in a “wealthier” environment; priest lives a rich, full life as an active member of the greater community outside the geographical parish.

The Call To Ordination Does Not Go Away

*Priest is a verb; as God is a verb; to priest is an ongoing process of growth in God.
*Priesthood is the place I come together–love of God, neighbor, self; liturgy and sacraments; teaching; play; prayer; preaching; the arts; social justice; anthropology; healing; emotions and feelings–pastoral care; drama; life lived in the church calendar;
*The ordained priesthood is a liminal space–of danger, desire, decision, dedication, devotion. It is a place to let go and live God’s gracious love.

The Call To Ordination Does Not Go Away

Ability to permit others to priest to me.

The Call To Ordination Does Not Go Away

Great relationship with Kenny, the sacrament of marriage is as much vocational calling as ordination. I know more of God’s love because I love a wonderful human who loves me. We pray and play together. We share the love of Church, liturgy, God, Creation, social justice. We are lovers, friends, best friends, soul friends, companions, and priest to one another. We recognise that Godstuff and sexuality are part of the same energy. We often talk of a shared ministry, particularly in Panama. Being able to share in his journey of The Process was such an honour. And his ordination was a place of great personal pain as well as joy in his new life. ICE-C kept me grounded.

The Call To Ordination Does Not Go Away

Student, teacher and lover of Celtic spirituality
*Skellig Michael is my “Place of Resurrection”
*Brigid is my patron saint, the work and study of my prayer life these days. +Rusty was right!
*My Irish passion for jusitice is in The Six Counties; Donegal is the wild place of my dream environment; my genes are from County Tipperary.

The Call To Ordination Does Not Go Away

Gift of reconciliation and healing–sacraments and as a sacramental way of be-ing.

The Call To Ordination Does Not Go Away

Rich, full life experiences; an awareness that every event is a story.

The Call To Ordination Does Not Go Away

If you are prepared to fight for the right of adoring Jesus in his Blessed Sacrament, then you have gvot to come out behind your Tabernacle and walk, with Christ mystically present in you, out into the streets of this country, and find the same Jesus in the people of your cities and your villages. You cannot claim to worship Jesus in the Tabernacle, if you do not pity Jesus in the slum…And it is folly–it is madness–to suppose that you can worship Jesus in the Sacraments and Jesus resurrected to the throne of glory, when you are sweating him in the souls and bodies of his children. It cannot be done…Go out and look for Jesus in the ragged, in the naked, in the oppressed and sweated, and in those who have lost hope, in those who are struggling to make good. Look for Jesus. And when you see him, gird yourselves with his towel and try to wash their feet.
–FRANK WESTON, Bishop of Zanzibar, 1923

The Call To Ordination Does Not Go Away